Category Archives: Living

About Trust

Lots of unimaginable things have happened to unsuspecting people to make them assemble a strong barrier round their trusts and most of the time whisper to their souls when trusting calls, ‘trust no one!’

No doubt about the betrayals and cheatings and deceits and stabs in the backs – which are prevalent in most our societies. However, we still need trust to coexist.

Do not believe in the saying ‘Trust no one’.

Some people are guided by this principle to the extent that everyone in their circle of life is a suspect. That’s why some men and women investigate their spouses even without any sign they’re cheating on them.

Some are guided by this principle because it’s hard for them, after a terrible life experience, to trust again but you know when we find trusting people hard because someone in their circle betrayed our trust, we can’t do anything fruitful with them – we have serious problems.

These people need us to trust them

Partners

Companies

Health professionals

Employees

Bodyguards, securities

Banks

Family

Friends

Educators

Etc

We owe them our trusts and we have no option than to trust them because our lives without trust can be uncomfortable if not hazardeous.

We need to trust them until we find them unworthy of our trusts. Even at that we need to trust someone else in their circle when one fails us.

All people are not the same

It’s possible to distrust everyone in a family, country, community, circle because our minds are biased against them die to a terrible trusting experience.

A man cheated or abandoned by his spouse might conclude that all women are the same and distrust all women. Likewise, it’s possible for a lady to distrust all men because of her bad experience with one man.

This doesn’t have to be so.

Everyone is not the same. All men are not the same, All women are not the same. All companies are not the same and all banks are not the same.

There are still good people out there and there are still people who can be trusted. A lot of them.

There should be balance between being careful and trusting

Even though I think it’s wise to be careful with people to outsmart cheats, scammers and the likes, we shouldn’t do it in such a way that person begins to suspect we don’t trust them.

There are situations when someone who had betrayed his trust will need you to give him a second chance, it depends on you to decide if you can risk trusting again and it depends on the relationship. But in that it case, it’s hard.

Do Not ‘Over-Trust’ Anyone

A married man once asked a single lady out on a date. The lady knew he was married and asked him what if your wife finds out? He replied, “my wife overtrusts me and will never find out.”

That’s exactly why some marriages have lasted long. You just have to close both eyes in trust. So, overtrusting in marriage to me it’s okay if someone ever wants to remain married, you just have to choose to be a complete nincompoop to keep going. Love is blind.

In other cases, we need to trust people but not overdo it. It calls for caution. Be careful with how you trust people. Do not trust them with everything.

My points

Do not be guided by the saying, ‘trust no one’

We need to trust people for them to participate positively in our lives.

Do not overdo trust. Be careful in trust and look out for a bad sign.

If it demand that you close both eyes in trust, keep one eye open. Do not be fooled.

Β© Florence Ezekafor

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It’s poetic on Mondays here on Fiez. A poem comes next today.

Hope you’re already enjoying your day.πŸ€—πŸ’–

Have You Ever Lied?

There were times when I thought that lying was a survival mechanism and and human tool for sustainance – you know, but that’s an illusion.

I’ve grown up now. I have kids in my surrounding to show the right path of life. That’s just by the way.

Have you ever lied?

Whenever this question comes up, people tend to avoid it because first of all why should should someone in their right senses ask someone that is human if he or she has ever lied.

The asker should have know that we all people are like fish in the water, no matter what happens, people can’t escape the water and live. Right?

Are there exceptions? Like fishes who can survive without water?

Despite the above statement, I believe there are people who are free from this very lying habit.

I can tell you how.

You are no liar when no one knows you as one.

In other words, no one has caught you with a lie.

You are different from a known liar or a notorious liar.

A notorious liar is a habitual liar who can lie everytime even in the face of the truth – when the truth is obvious and this liar can get everyone to listen and believe a lie.

If you’re an African, you’ve probably heard the statement, “You can lie for Africa.”

Maybe, just maybe you’ve heard about this utterance but do not know about the the possible connotation.

I’ve been opportune to catch some younsters using the abusive statement in Nigeria. I think you might want to listen to the meaning according to the youngsters.

“What does it mean to lie for Africa?”

Image by pixaby

“When lie comes easily to someone, you say that the person can lie for Africa–“

“If someone tells a lie which is easily detectable — A liar who can lie even when he knows he has no opportunity to lie – that people already know the truth. Yet, this person goes ahead to tell a lie in spite of the obvious and glaring truth—” πŸ‘ŒπŸ‘

“The person who can lie for Africa, can out of all the African liars be the best liar – like if there is a lying contest, this person could take the trophy home as the champion —-” πŸ€—πŸ˜€ this one got me laughing hard.

I’m not sure if this statement and it’s meaning is of general African usage or just my Nigerian “abusive” statement. In any case, I only want to make a point with it.

People lie – and some lies are more dangerous than the others

We have those fibs we think it’s nothing and there are big, fat lies. They are all lies.

Research has it that 60% of lies happen during normal conversations when people try to appear likeable and eligible. Just a little lie here and there to polish the “imperfect story, ” to be perfect and pleasing to the ear.

People lie for so many reasons

People lie to escape punishment

People lie to appear likeable

People lie to fit in

People lie to appear competent

People lie to hide their little or big secrets

People lie to polish their real stories- they exaggerated to make it more appealing or more grievous.

You ask yourself, why would someone want to lie for the above reasons when the truth is likely to come out eventually? Is it not more competent to tell the truth and suffer the consequences? Is it not more honourable?

Who are the victims of these lies

  • Friends
  • Family
  • Strangers
  • Judges
  • Leaders
  • Employers
  • Interviewers
  • Employees
  • Readers
  • Customers
  • Students
  • Etc

To make matters worse, sometimes, the victims do not find out they’re being lied to until later in life, if ever they ever find out.

No Lie Is A good Lie – Somene somehow gets hurt in the process.

A quote From John Grisham’s ‘The Client’

“It’s amazing how lies grow. You start with a small one that seems easy to cover, then you get boxed in and tell another one. Then another. People believe you at first, then they act upon your lies, and you catch yourself wishing you’d simply told the truth”
John Grisham

“Do Not Lie”

Image by pixaby

Do not lie to friends or family

The last person you will want to lie to is the person who expects the truth and nothing but the truth from you, someone who will never throw you away because you told the truth – especially friends and family. Not that it’s good to lie to others but these are the people you take lie far away from. It’s an advice.

When friends or family gather, they gather based on trust and when that trust is breached, loopholes are created. Relationship gaps are initiated, before you know it, the bond is broken and the relationship is history

You can commit more grievous offence other than a lie behind a friend and once you come out with the truth and apologise, the friend is likely to forgive. Confessing and apologising can wipe away your wrong before them and even if they don’t forgive, the trust you and nothing strengthens a relationship more than trust based on truth.

But when you commit a little offence and lie about it, the friend can’t trust you anymore.

Just tell one lie and ruin your relationship.

Do Not Lie To An Employer

When I see some people tell a lie on their resume, I wonder why they should do that.

Because an employer says he wants a candidate between the age of 35 – 40 is not the reason why you should increase your age or refuse it to fit in. Tell them your age and tell them the reason why you can do better than those in that age bracket.

Some applicants do not have the needed skills that they claim. Some use a forged certificate to get a good paying jobs. They succeed only for a while and get kicked out the truth comes up.

Truth can’t be buried for long, it can only stay under the earth for a while. One day, probably after a long time, when you aren’t expecting, it brings out it’s hand, as youre trying frantically to cover it’s hand the leg comes out, then the head, then the mouth opens. Once the mouth opens, you’re done – game over.

Do Not Lie In Court

Why do the innocent people go to jail while the guilty ones go free? People tell lie in court to cover the truth and if we can stop that lie,

To be lied to feels very bad. Terrible and no one likes it.

Its better to tell the truth and be hated than to live a fake life built on lies.

Do Not Lie To Protect

People think it’s honourable to lie for a friend. A friend commits an offence say, rape, and you offer him a protection in the form of a lie told to the people whose duty is to bring justice.

That’s not the right thing to do.

In the case above, you’re supposed to make sure the victim gets justice and your friend gets his due verdict. Such act is not coverable. It’s not the kind you say, hey, I love you girl, let me cover for you. I can do it for you. What are friends for? Friends protect each other right?

The real love you should for anyone is making sure they’re in their best behaviour – look out for any bad behaviour and talk them out of it. If you’re the good one, they must follow your step or your separate ways. Light and darkness can’t coexist neither do good and evil.

You can live without lying. Can’t you?

Easier said than done, right?

It probably is, but I still believe there are people who don’t lie.

Be among them.

If they are 2% of the world’s populace, squeeze yourself in there. Be among them. Be homourable.

To do this you need to first of all understand how hurtful a lie can be.

You dont want to be lied to, then dont lie to anyone.

What Happens To People Who Avoid Lies

They earn themselves some enemies and some good friends as well.

It’s one funny thing about the world, if you lie, some people will avoid you, if you tell the truth, some people will avoid you as well. Go ahead an tell the truth or keep quiet if keeping quiet is the wise thing to do.

Do this

Make it a habit to tell the truth.

Instead of telling a lie, keep quiet – let no lie out

Know that,

The truth will surely come out someday and when it does, you’ll feel very awful – lifetime regret.

Why not tell the truth now and and be like anπŸ˜‡ πŸ˜‡.

Much ❀️ 😍

Β© Floerence Ezekafor


As a human I’ve been wondering, what do you do when you need to lie to save yourself or someone else from eminent danger with no crime involved? Do you think lying is justified at this point?

Write your answer in the comment.