Tag Archives: Trust

A Secret Is A Secret

If you have a secret that you, really, really want to keep a secret, do not share it with anyone, especially if it’s something to do with a past misdeed or a family issue.

Once you reveal it to the first trusted person, the first trusted person reveals it to the second trusted person, the second trusted person reveals it to the third trusted person until your secret develops wings and flies to the end of the world. 

You don’t want that to happen.

You Can’t Trust Trusted Friends With Your Secret. They Too Have Their Trusted Friends

This is you telling the first trusted person, ‘ Please, I don’t want to hear this anywhere else.’

 The first trusted person, even though they swore before you like this, ‘hey, you know I keep to myself and hardly have time for chit-chatting,’ might be tempted on a merry day to share it with a second trusted person to like this, ‘Please, cover me up. If she finds out I told you, I’d be in hot soup. Here is what she told me…’

 This goes on and on and on until you realize that you are wearing a cloth but your nakedness is before the eyes of the world.

I don’t like people telling me their secrets for one reason. It’s a secret. Keep it. I believe that a secret should be kept a secret. Let it live and die with you. 

The Worst Kind Of Persons To Tell A Secret

The first worst kind of person to tell a secret is a married person. You know what they say, married couples hardly keep things from each other and it is true. They feel scourged when they keep what they know from each other. They are gossip mates and it’s no sin because they are one.

The next set of people to never share a secret with are people who talk without thinking. Your secret will fall out of their tongues like a raindrop from the sky. It’s no fault of theirs, they can’t just help it. 

Some people can just keep secrets. So don’t even try them. You know them by how many secrets they have told in single chitchat. That’s how they will spread your secret as if it’s good news. 

So if you don’t want your secret to going viral, don’t let them patronise you. 

Some will share your secret to help you to solve a problem, even if their motive is good, you still don’t want another ear to bear it. 

If You Must Share A Secret Share It With A Professional.

  • Counsellors
  • Health professionals
  • A clergy 

A counsellor must keep your family secret or you sue them for a breach of trust if you have the guts. Besides, if they want to be successful in that field, they must meet up with the standard or level of trust required to keep their clients.

Health professionals are the most trusted kind to share humiliating health issues with because they don’t have time to go about wagging tongues with anybody. If they should take about it, it would be logically or professionally with no mention of names.

The clergy especially catholic priests are the best kind to share disturbing misdeeds with. They are bound by an oath to let your secret die with them. Again, like the doctors, they could mention it, especially when it’s a general misdeed.

I think family keeps secrets too. If not for anything they wouldn’t want the family name to attract a dent. The only disadvantage here is that you might live all your life feeling your secret is in their eyes staring at you at the dinner table and condemning you. You might lose their trust and respect in its purest form as well.

 I don’t think spouses should hide secrets from each other. Yet some secrets can kill a relationship. One should be wise.

In conclusion, keep your secret, but if sharing with another person is important to you, share it with the right person. That one secret when leaked out can affect your work, relationships, self-image, self-esteem, etcetera.

Have a blessed week ahead.

©Fiez -Writer

Inspired Sunday #7

“Imagine the wife of Jonah having to listen to Jonah”s story about being swallowed by a fish in the ocean, living in it’s belly for three days and being vomitted out.”

Could you imagine the expression on her face while listening to Jonah’s “blatant lie”?

Her thoughts should be: Where did he spend those three days? Who was he with? No, no, this man can lie! Who got swallowed by a fish and survived in it’s belly for three days? Who got vomitted by a fish after being swallowed?

How she should react: “What am I, dumb? Spill it, Mr!”

Presumably, she believed him in spite of the obvious.

She could have believed him because Jonah never cheated on her or lied to her..

What if Jonah wasn’t a faithful man?

She should have trusted him still because she didn’t know the truth to the “lie”.

That’s how far one should go to trust his or her spouse.

Have a blessed week ahead.❤

About Trust

Lots of unimaginable things have happened to unsuspecting people to make them assemble a strong barrier round their trusts and most of the time whisper to their souls when trusting calls, ‘trust no one!’

No doubt about the betrayals and cheatings and deceits and stabs in the backs – which are prevalent in most our societies. However, we still need trust to coexist.

Do not believe in the saying ‘Trust no one’.

Some people are guided by this principle to the extent that everyone in their circle of life is a suspect. That’s why some men and women investigate their spouses even without any sign they’re cheating on them.

Some are guided by this principle because it’s hard for them, after a terrible life experience, to trust again but you know when we find trusting people hard because someone in their circle betrayed our trust, we can’t do anything fruitful with them – we have serious problems.

These people need us to trust them

Partners

Companies

Health professionals

Employees

Bodyguards, securities

Banks

Family

Friends

Educators

Etc

We owe them our trusts and we have no option than to trust them because our lives without trust can be uncomfortable if not hazardeous.

We need to trust them until we find them unworthy of our trusts. Even at that we need to trust someone else in their circle when one fails us.

All people are not the same

It’s possible to distrust everyone in a family, country, community, circle because our minds are biased against them die to a terrible trusting experience.

A man cheated or abandoned by his spouse might conclude that all women are the same and distrust all women. Likewise, it’s possible for a lady to distrust all men because of her bad experience with one man.

This doesn’t have to be so.

Everyone is not the same. All men are not the same, All women are not the same. All companies are not the same and all banks are not the same.

There are still good people out there and there are still people who can be trusted. A lot of them.

There should be balance between being careful and trusting

Even though I think it’s wise to be careful with people to outsmart cheats, scammers and the likes, we shouldn’t do it in such a way that person begins to suspect we don’t trust them.

There are situations when someone who had betrayed his trust will need you to give him a second chance, it depends on you to decide if you can risk trusting again and it depends on the relationship. But in that it case, it’s hard.

Do Not ‘Over-Trust’ Anyone

A married man once asked a single lady out on a date. The lady knew he was married and asked him what if your wife finds out? He replied, “my wife overtrusts me and will never find out.”

That’s exactly why some marriages have lasted long. You just have to close both eyes in trust. So, overtrusting in marriage to me it’s okay if someone ever wants to remain married, you just have to choose to be a complete nincompoop to keep going. Love is blind.

In other cases, we need to trust people but not overdo it. It calls for caution. Be careful with how you trust people. Do not trust them with everything.

My points

Do not be guided by the saying, ‘trust no one’

We need to trust people for them to participate positively in our lives.

Do not overdo trust. Be careful in trust and look out for a bad sign.

If it demand that you close both eyes in trust, keep one eye open. Do not be fooled.

© Florence Ezekafor

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It’s poetic on Mondays here on Fiez. A poem comes next today.

Hope you’re already enjoying your day.🤗💖